


grown accustomed to her face

by celaenos



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Critmas Exchange, F/F, Holiday Fic Exchange, One Shot, nature gals being pals and also making out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:48:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21813310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celaenos/pseuds/celaenos
Summary: She laughs, one of her nervous, awkward ones that has Vex’s lips twitching upwards into a fond smile. She watches as Keyleth tucks some of her hair behind her ear and looks up at the sky, feet kicking back and forth aimlessly as she reaches up to pet Trinket, and Vex sucks in a sharp breath.Oh.
Relationships: Keyleth/Vex'ahlia (Critical Role)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 275
Collections: Critmas Exchange 2019





	grown accustomed to her face

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alwaystheocean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaystheocean/gifts).



> happy critmas!! i hope you enjoy<3

Vex’s mouth drops wide open and she hears herself let out an undignified squawk; she can’t seem to help it.

In front of her, Keyleth looks just as shocked by her brother’s words as Vex herself is, and she’s not doing any better of a job at hiding it. Vax lunges away after dropping the bomb in front of them so casually and then Vex and Keyleth both twist around to focus on staying alive, and not on his words. 

_You know that I’m in love with you, right?_

Vex wants to scalp him. 

…

…

She is agitated and irritable for days after Vax’s sudden declaration. He survives, the idiot—he always does. He’s acting contrary and suddenly starts giving Keyleth lots of space and trying to shift things in the party back to normal, but _nothing_ is normal now, not anymore. Vax ruined it. 

Vex wants to _kill him._

She can’t seem to focus on much of anything else for very long. She haggles prices down and flirts, counts their spoils and tries to ignore the way that Percy is going taunt the closer that they travel to Whitestone, or the way that Keyleth keeps shooting confused glances over at her brother. Vex wants to scream with frustration, all the more so because she doesn’t quite know _why_ exactly she is so angry about it. 

It’s utterly stupid and she wants to slap him because they have all been shifting into something solidly like family for months and this has thrown an awkward Keyleth-shaped hole into the party—but beyond that, Vex is boiling over with anger that she doesn’t quite understand. 

That fact alone is pissing her off more than anything else. 

So, she shoves it as far down into herself as she can manage and plasters a smile onto her face. Keyleth just keeps on going red and folding further into herself while Vax and Kash both posture around her, utterly irritating and idiotic. To top it all off, Percy seems to be unraveling and Scanlan won’t stop shitting on things that don’t belong to him, and Vex is… irritable and tired. 

It will all go away; it has to. 

…

…

Vax mutters out _jenga, jenga, jenga_ in a panicked whisper underneath his breath and Vex swears, her heart stops beating for a hair’s breadth. She is furious with him, has been for weeks, but the prospect of him _dying_ before she can kill him herself is so paralyzing that for a moment she just… stops. 

Keyleth is the one to shove her back into action and somehow Vex is going to find a way to thank her properly for that later. 

After that, everything happens very fast—too fast. Percy’s sister is _alive,_ and his people are trying to fumble their way through a rebellion, and his home is inhabited by his family’s murderers, and Percy is _possessed._

Vex fights in a pure panic; every movement she makes is reactionary and quick thinking and there isn’t a moment to process any of it—there hasn’t been time to process very much in years, if she’s being honest. When there is finally time to relax, to sleep, to heal themselves up, Vex quickly slips away from the party and takes refuge in one of the rooms that Percy nods her towards. He looks as confused and agitated to be in his old childhood home as Vex suddenly feels to be around her brother and Keyleth.

Whitestone is impressive and daunting and Vex wastes no time at all escaping out to the woods with Trinket to find that Keyleth has already had the same idea.

“Hey,” she says when Vex startles at the sight of her. Keyleth sheepishly waves and starts walking over towards Vex. “Sorry, if — if you wanna be alone, then I can—”

“Come sit,” Vex offers and shuffles over a bit on the log she’d found a moment earlier. Keyleth walks over towards her slowly, like she might approach a wild animal. Vex is only mildly insulted at the notion. “Percy seems… better,” Vex says, though the word doesn’t quite fit. _Possession_ isn’t something to be taken lightly and Vex can’t quite imagine the feeling of suddenly fitting back into your old life after such a tragedy and time away.

“I guess,” Keyleth hums. “Cassandra seems… well… a bit like him, I suppose.” She laughs, one of her nervous, awkward ones that has Vex’s lips twitching upwards into a fond smile. She watches as Keyleth tucks some of her hair behind her ear and looks up at the sky, feet kicking back and forth aimlessly as she reaches up to pet Trinket, and Vex sucks in a sharp breath.

_Oh._

That’s why she’s been so angry at Vax.

_Fuck._

…

…

Vex avoids Keyleth for weeks. It isn’t hard—their lives never seem to slow down. They go back to Greyskull Keep and _motherfucking dragons_ attack and Vex watches their home crumble all around them and she can’t _breathe._

“Wait!” she calls out in a panic, “Keyleth—” her voice catches on the name and she covers her mouth before she starts to sob, properly.

“We’ll be back,” Percy promises her. “We’ll build it again.”

Vax and Keyleth both reach for her hands at the same time and Vex takes them, swallowing back tears. 

They sleep in Scanlan’s mansion, after that.

…

…

Vax corners her a few days later. He may be an idiot, but he has been attuned to Vex’ahlia’s moods since they were toddlers. “Stubby,” he says, earnest in a way that is grating rather than charming. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, for starters, dragons have attacked our home,” Vex says, rolling her eyes at him.

“Right, but I meant… it seems like there’s more than that going on with you.”

“Are you really in love with Keyleth?” Vex asks, watching her brother go from irritatingly protective to sullen in half a breath.

“I…” his face does something that Vex doesn’t recognize, which is alarming. She has looked at that face every day for the last twenty-seven years—she _has_ that face—to see it shift into something foreign is… so unsettling that Vex jumps up and slaps him. “Ow,” he glares up at her and goes indignant, a look that is so familiar it loosens the tightness in Vex’s chest. “Vex’ahlia! What was that for?”

“Many things,” she snaps. Infuriatingly, that causes him to smile. “Answer the question!” she demands.

Vax’s smile slips from his face immediately. “I think so, yes,” he admits. “But I don’t think that it matters. She doesn’t feel the same way.”

“You don’t know that,” Vex argues. “Keyleth is awkward and naïve and she might not just—”

“We talked for a while, last night,” he says, quietly. “It… took a while, but, she made her feelings clear. She loves me, but… you know, more along the lines of the way that I love you.”

“Ah… I’m sorry,” Vex says and means it—as irritated as she has been with him, none of this is his fault and she hates to see him in any pain. Her brother shrugs, like he’s trying to make this hurt be less of a big deal as quickly as possible, but Vex isn’t fooled. She softens and sits down and wraps her arms around him. The two of them sit there for a few moments in silence, holding each other.

“Vex?” Pike calls out, knocking on the door. “Oh, sorry,” she backs out when she sees them in their embrace. “I can come back lat—”

“Come on in, Pickle,” Vax says, smiling. “Join the hug.”

Vex grimaces and is about to extract herself when Pike launches at them.

“What are we doin’?” Grog asks, coming into the doorframe.

“GROUP HUG!” Pike hollers and Grog gamely walks over and wraps himself around the three of them, trapping Vex between them both.

“Can I get in on this action?” Scanlan asks. Vex sighs, deeply. Mentally considering which spells she could enact on them all to free herself.

“What the devil is going on?” Percy’s lilt asks. Vex can’t see the door anymore. Her face is shoved into Grog’s chest and Pike’s elbow. “It thought we were eating dinner.”

“AFTER THE GROUP HUG!” Pike hollers.

“Come on, Freddy,” Vax beckons. Vex can’t see, but she can easily imagine the way that Percy sort of huffs and then slowly walks towards them warily until Pike and Vax both reach out to grab him and tug him into the pile. “KEYLETH!” Vax hollers, “COME JOIN US!”

Vex’s heart hammers in her chest as she tries to shove at Grog and free herself. In the slight shift, she can see Keyleth appear in the doorway, eyes widening and then grinning at the sight before she launches herself forward, Trinket half a step behind her. Keyleth lands on Grog’s back, her face dangerously close to Vex’ahlia’s, now. She sucks in a sharp breath as Keyleth beams at her. “This is fun,” she declares. “We should do this every night.”

“No,” Vex grunts, shoving harder at Grog and then shimmying her way out of the pile. “We should not.” Vex smooths down her shirt and then tugs at Trinket’s fur. “I’m starving,” she declares, and quickly exits the room, her friend’s lighthearted laughter echoing behind her.

…

…

She doesn’t remember dying, not really.

She just walks over to look at their spoils, hears Percy shuffling about and grabbing for things behind her, and thinks nothing of it until there is a single moment of searing pain and then... nothing.

When she comes to again, Pike is hovering above her, watery eyes smiling down at Vex. “Hey,” she says, assuringly. “You’re okay.”

Vax jumps forward and grabs at her, a little too roughly. Vex groans at the movement and Pike actually looks like she might hit him for a second and then he lets out the smallest, _I’m sorry,_ ever. Pike clamps her mouth shut and moves over to give them both some space.

“What?” Vex laughs. “Did something knock me unconscious again?”

Everyone around her flinches terribly at her words and that’s when Vex realizes that something is very, very wrong. Keyleth is holding herself and shaking and Scanlan looks serious and Grog is tense. Percy is sitting mutely on the ground, looking as though he may be about to vomit at any moment.

“What happened?” Vex asks.

“You’re alright,” Vax says quickly, before anyone else can say a thing. “That’s all that matters.”

Vex rather disagrees with him, but she is too tired just now to press him, and her whole body hurts like she's been slammed by something massively solid. She watches as Pike, Scanlan, and Grog keep shooting wary looks her way. She notes the way that Percy is completely unable to look her in the eye, the way that her bother spews vitriol in his direction until he slinks away, the both of them retreating to their rooms. She watches Keyleth look like she is about to have a panic attack and corners her. "What happened, Keyleth?"

“I… I… I _can’t —_ I —”

Vex’ahlia cups Keyleth’s face, all of her usual agitation at being so close to her as of late disappearing at the sight of her in so much panic and pain. “I’m right here,” she assures her. “Keyleth, I’m fine.”

“You were _dead,_ ” Keyleth gasps. “I just… I thought… and then…” she’s heaving and sobbing and shaking in a way that causes Vex’s whole body to clench.

“I’m right here,” she says, again.

Keyleth clutches at her like she’s afraid that Vex will disappear any moment, and for the first time in weeks, Vex holds her back. Allowing herself a few moments to grip her tightly and breathe the taller girl in. They stay like that for a few more minutes until Keyleth manages to calm herself down.

“What is it that no one will tell me?” Vex asks, because she knows that Keyleth won’t lie to her.

“Vax… made a deal, of sorts.”

Vex’s body goes cold. The hands that are holding Keyleth tighten and tense and she watches Keyleth wince. “What do you mean?” Vex asks, though she doesn’t want Keyleth to tell her, not really.

“A bargain. His life, for yours.”

_“What?”_

“We couldn’t… we can’t lose _you,_ Vex.” Keyleth’s face twists to something that Vex recognizes as determination, somewhere behind her abject terror. “I can’t lose you,” she adds, softly enough that if they weren’t still in an embrace, Vex would never be able to hear her at all.

…

…

It’s her own fault, really.

Vex curses underneath her breath and shivers and tries not to scream as Keyleth paces the length of the room and tries to find them an exit. She only ran in here after Vex so that she wouldn’t be alone without backup—because Vex has been a bit reckless since dying. And now the two of them are trapped and this is entierly Vex’s fault.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles again.

“It’s fine,” Keyleth says, biting down at her lower lip. Vex tries very hard not to stare at it. She has been trying very hard not to stare at Keyleth for weeks.

Unsuccessfully.

“I just wish that I wasn’t so tapped,” Keyleth groans, kicking at the stone wall in frustration. “I could get us out of here if I had one of my elemental spells left.”

“Nothing is trying to kill us at the moment, and everyone else can take care of themselves, so long as they don’t act like idiots,” Vex rolls her eyes. “We could just sleep in here and get ourselves out in the morning, probably.”

Keyleth frowns and tries attacking the wall with her body again. Vex winces at the loud thud. “Yeah,” Keyleth mumbles, rubbing at her shoulder and accepting defeat. She slumps down to sit on the floor. “I suppose.”

And because Vex’ahlia is a masochistic idiot who has been biting her tongue and shifting her gaze for _months,_ now, and because here they are, trapped in this small bedroom, forced to discuss their mutual—well, their mutual something—Vex’ahlia opens her mouth and asks Keyleth why she doesn’t love her brother.

Keyleth is gobsmacked. Her mouth opens and closes several times and her face goes _bright red_ as she folds into herself. She looks like she is trying very hard to once again mold into the earth and sink down into the floor. But her magic is betraying her. “I… um…. I’m just… not?” she finally says.

“He’s a good person!” Vex says, utterly confused as to why the hell exactly she is trying to convince Keyleth to fall into her brother’s arms. That is the last thing that she wants.

“I know that!”

“He’s very attractive!” Vex snaps. “I know that because he looks just like me and _I’m_ stunningly attractive.”

“I know you are!” Keyleth yells and then clamps her mouth shut and looks like she wants to die. Vex goes quiet. She should not have said _anything._ “I… I don’t think it’s something that you can help, you know?” Keyleth finally says, breaking the silence a few tense moments later.

“What?”

“Who you fall in love with,” Keyleth clarifies. Vex looks up at catches Keyleth’s eye and she inhales more sharply than she intends at the look that Keyleth is giving her.

“I suppose,” Vex says, her voice comes out sounding raw and like it's gone funny. Keyleth looks like she is about to say something else so Vex quickly turns around and walks over to the other wall, sliding down and slamming her knee into the stone. “Fuck,” she mumbles. “I — we should get some sleep,” she says, cutting Keyleth off. “The quicker we do that, the quicker we can get out of here.”

“Right…” Keyleth says, looking dejected.

Something inside Vex’ahlia’s chest hurts, a sharp insistent pain that has her slamming her eyes closed to rid the image of Keyleth’s hurt face from her sight. She clucks her tongue, more annoyed with herself than anything else. “Goodnight, Keyleth,” she says softly.

“Yeah, night,” Keyleth mumbles back, sounding miserable. Vex’ahlia opens her mouth to say something else, but she can’t quite make it work. Instead, she rolls over on her side and tries to sleep.

It takes her over half the night.

…

…

She avoids being alone with Keyleth for weeks, after that.

…

…

They have to go see her father, of all people, and Vex’ahlia feels all of twelve years old again. He is cold and dismissive with the twins and the exact opposite when Velora runs into the room. _It’s not your fault_ , Vex thinks fiercely, so hard that tears prickle her eyes. _It’s not your fault that he’s like this. Nothing you did made him do this to you_. But there is still a part of her that is very quiet and very small and very persistent that hums— _but there must have been something that you did to deserve this._

She focuses on their mission. On her little sister, whom she could never blame for gaining their father’s love, because Vex herself is overflowing with it for Velora, too. She is there for a reason: to save the world. That is what matters, not her feelings.

Except that—

Keyleth openly snaps at Syldor and then Percy calls her _Lady Vex’ahlia Baroness of the third house of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt_ and Vex gasps as her father’s face twists uncomfortably.

Vex releases a shaky little laugh and straightens up her spine. “Well, you didn’t know,” she says, once her father apologies for the lack of formality.

When she turns around, Percy and Keyleth are both beaming proudly at her. Her friends surrounding them. Vex’ahlia has never felt more loved in all her life.

…

…

It takes… more than she would have thought to resist Saundor’s offer. It only lasts for a few painful breaths, but she almost hears herself whisper out _yes, yes alright._ She is so tired. They’ve fought dragons, and her mother is long dead, and her father never wanted her, and _she_ has died and Vax is _going_ to die and—

Keyleth—

Vex turns her head, the slightest, smallest notch and looks over at Keyleth’s face. There is a reason that her brother fell in love with Keyleth; Vex has known that for months. She’s known her own feelings for months, if she’s honest with herself. Vex swallows and pictures herself saying _yes._ She imagines putting down her bow and sitting in this warm grass in this magical land untouched by the Chroma Conclave. She imagines a life beside Saundor, one not quite full of love, but… of something. She wouldn’t have to watch Vax die. She wouldn’t have to watch Keyleth fall in love.

She wouldn’t have her friends anymore, either.

When Vex opens her eyes she knows that there are tears in them. “My heart belongs to someone else,” she tells him, and points her arrow, then shoots.

…

…

Keyleth has been brimming with anger for months now. Vex has watched her spar with Grog, hang on to Kerrick’s every word, _scream_ and _scream_ and _scream_ at Raishan, and save them all, more times than she can count.

Vex’ahlia loves her.

It is a dangerous thought to allow herself to have, but since denying Saundor, the reasons for it seem harder and harder to continue shoving down. Keyleth is brimming with anger and Vex’ahlia is brimming with love.

It all hurts.

“What are you doing up here, Stubby?”

Vex kicks her feet back and forth up in the tree. “Keeping watch,” she tells him, only half a lie. Her brother climbs up to sit beside her and rests on a branch adjacent to her own; the two of them mirror images. “Are you still in love with Keyleth?” she asks suddenly, because she has to know. Because no matter how much of a coward she may be, if she is ever going to manage to do something about this—she can’t hurt Vax in the process. She won’t. Not for something selfish like this, not for her own idiotic feelings.

He smiles at her ruefully. It takes him a couple of minutes before he answers and Vex’ahlia waits him out as patiently as she can manage.

“I think… perhaps a little bit, yes,” he answers finally. Vex’ahlia sucks in a sharp breath. “But, no,” he adds. “In the grander scheme of things… I think no, not quite anymore. I… it took a while,” he admits. “But once it was clear that she didn’t feel the same…” he shrugs. “I’ve let myself start to consider other options.”

Vex pictures the way he and Gilmore flirted the last time that they saw him, only a few weeks ago. It was with far more ease and delight than it usually is, coming from Vax’ildan. For once in her life, Vex chooses not to tease him, or to pry.

“Vax—” she starts.

“Are you?” he asks, cutting her off with a gentle—terrifying—question.

“Am I what?” Vex asks, stalling.

Vax’ildan looks down at the party, bickering gently about the details of one of their latest plans. Trinket looks up at her and lets out a groan. Vex blows him a kiss and he settles begrugingly. “You said ‘my heart belongs to someone else’ to Saundor,” he says, careful. “I’ve… I pay attention to you. To you both.”

“That’s creepy,” Vex chides, stalling further. Vax isn’t taking the bait and Vex huffs, gripping at the branch that holds her tightly enough that the bark digs into her palms painfully. “I — I won’t — if you,” finally she swings off the branch deftly. “Don’t be an idiot, Vax,” she snaps and leaps to the ground.

Vax follows her half a step later. His arm swings around her shoulder and he pulls her into a tight hug even as she shoves at him. “I’m happy for you, Stubby,” he whispers. “Go on and be happy.”

“But—”

“No buts,” he says, fiercely. His face goes somber. “We could all die at any moment, these days. Let yourself be happy, please.” And then he releases her and walks over, cheerfully dumping a bucket of water over Scanlan’s head, Grog howling with laughter. When Keyleth looks up to find her, for the first time in ages, Vex doesn’t force herself to shy away from her gaze.

…

…

Keyleth holds up the ring from Kerrick to the light, reading the engraving in the center. “It says, ‘I have passed through fire’.” She cries as she slips it on and when she looks up at all of them, it’s Vex’s face she looks for first.

Vex beams at her. “The Voice of the Tempest,” she says, proudly. “A very good title,” she winks, delighting in the immediate response it gets her from Keyleth. She has been shamelessly flirting for a solid week now, at least. Edging the responses from her brother and from Keyleth herself. So far, it has been unbearably entertaining.

Keyleth stands before her people, later, a cloak of bright red placed upon her shoulders as cherry blossoms fall around her, looking breathtaking and like she belongs. The Ashari clap and Vox Machina cheer and Vex’ahlia cries proudly.

It takes a bit to get a moment with Keyleth alone. Everyone wants to offer her their congratulations, and there is a feast, and music, and Vex doesn’t want to take any of that away from her, but—

She has been keeping this inside of her for going on a year, now, and she can’t do it anymore. She realizes, suddenly, why her brother just burst out with this declaration—like it simply couldn’t be contained any longer.

“Do I have to call you ‘your majesty’ now?” Vex teases as she walks up to Keyleth. She startles and then turns around to face Vex, smiling.

“Gods, no. I’m not…" she shrugs. "I’m still just me.”

“My point exactly,” Vex’ahlia says, her voice loaded. Keyleth stiffens and looks down at her sharply. “I’m disastrously proud of you,” she adds in an almost whisper. Keyleth nods, too many times in a row, and then bites at her bottom lip. Not quite meeting Vex’s eyes. It sort of feels like now or never, so, Vex’ahlia slips closer, capturing Keyleth’s hands in her own and pauses, heart hammering inside of her chest, as she waits for Keyleth to look down at her. “You are magnificent, Keyleth,” she says. “I’ve thought so for a very long time.”

“ _You’re_ the one who’s—”

Vex takes a chance and lifts up onto her toes, leaning close and placing her lips mere inches away from Keyleth, waiting for permission. Keyleth gasps and then Vex feels her lean close before hesitating and she takes that second to connect their lips together. Keyleth’s whole body melts into Vex’s and she grabs her after a beat of pure shock. Vex takes advantage of the moment, in case Keyleth pulls back and changes her mind. When they finally pull apart, Keyleth is flushed and panting and hasn’t removed her hands from Vex’ahlia’s waist.

“I’m in love with you,” Vex admits, far more easily than she would have imagined.

“You’re — what — _really?_ ”

Vex nods.

“With _me?”_

Vex laughs at her and nods again.

 _“Really?”_ Keyleth asks again, beaming, but still looking utterly shocked at the notion. Vex is going to have to tell her this fact far more often, if this is her reaction. Now, Vex lifts back up onto her toes and kisses Keyleth for all she is worth in response. Keyleth moans into her mouth and Vex’s knees go a little weak, for half a second there. “Wow,” is all that Keyleth mumbles, once they’ve both pulled back for air a second time.

“You flatter me,” Vex teases, and the bright, hearty, delighted laughter that Keyleth releases as she pulls Vex close is the best sound that she has ever heard.


End file.
